Journal for Jane Eyre

Pg 10- All John Reed's violent tyrannies, all his sisters' proud indifference, all his mother's aversion, all the servants' partiality, turned up in my disturbed mind like a dark deposit in a turbid well. Why was I always suffering, always browbeaten, always accused, for ever condemned ? Why could I never please? Why was it useless to try to win any one's favour? Eliza, who was headstrong and selfish, was respected. Georgiana, who had a spoiled temper, a very acrid spite, a captious and insolent carriage, was universally indulged. Her beauty, her pink cheeks and golden curls, seemed to give delight to all who looked at her, and to purchase indemnity for every fault. John, no one thwarted, much less punished ; though he twisted the necks of the pigeons, killed the little pea-chicks, set the dogs at the sheep, stripped the hothouse vines of their fruit, and broke the buds off the choicest plants in the conservatory: he called his mother "old girl," too; sometimes reviled her for her dark skin, similar to his own; bluntly disregarded her wishes; not unfrequently tore and spoiled her silk attire; and he was still " her own darling." I dared commit no fault: I strove to fulfil every duty; and I was termed naughty and tiresome, sullen and sneaking, from morning to noon, and from noon to night.
It is impossible for Jane to please anybody no matter how hard she tries. On the other hand, Georgia and John do not need to do anything to be respected. They can be as bad as they want, and everyone will turn their heads the other way. Yet, she is accused of everything, even the things that are not her fault.

Pg-11 - In such vault I had been told did Mr. Reed lie buried ; and led by this thought to recall his idea, I dwelt on it with gathering dread. I could not remember him; but I knew that he was my own uncle — my mother's brother — that he had taken me when a parentless infant to his house ; and that in his last moments he had required a promise of Mrs. Reed that she would rear and maintain me as one of her own children. Mrs. Reed probably considered she had kept this promise; and so she had, I dare say, as well as her nature would permit her; but how could she really like an interloper not of her race, and unconnected with her, after her husband's death, by any tie? It must have been most irksome to find herself bound by a hard-wrung pledge to stand in the stead of a parent to a strange child she could not love, and to see an uncongenial alien permanently intruded on her own family group.
Mr. Reed was her uncle. It was Jane’s mom’s brother, and he loved her dearly. As a result, when Jane’s parents deceased, he took her in as her own child. This made Mrs. Reed jealous, for how could he take a “poor, little, insignificant, orphan girl” in as if it were his own and give her more care and attention than to his actual children. But once he becomes ill, and at the point of preparing to “go on to a better place”, he makes Mrs. Reed promise to keep Jane and be her guardian..
Pg 17- My feet they are sore, and my limbs they are weary; Long is the way, and the mountains are wild; Soon will the twilight close moonless and dreary Over the path of the poor orphan child. " Why did they send me so far and so lonely, Up where the moors spread and grey rocks are piled ? Men are hard-hearted, and kind angels only Watch'd o'er the steps of a poor orphan child. " Yet distant and soft the night-breeze is blowing, Clouds there are none, and clear stars beam mild. God, in His mercy, protection is showing, Comfort and hope to the poor orphan child. " Ev'n should I fall o'er the broken bridge passing, Or stray in the marshes, by false lights beguiled, Still will my Father, with promise and blessing, Take to His bosom the poor orphan child. " There is a thought that for strength should avail me, Though both of shelter and kindred despoiled; Heaven is a home, and a rest will not fail me; God is a friend to the poor orphan child." This is the song that Bessie is singing, and Jane pays close attention as she listens. It speaks of a “poor orphan child and how his/her relationship with god will guide him/her through any obstacle/difficulty in his/her life. It makes Jane very sad, because it relates to her very easily and she cannot help but fill in the shoes of that poor orphan child.
She doesn’t see being poor as desirable. She thinks of them as low and would rather be rich even if being poor as meant being happy and/ or free.
Pg 17- "This precious vessel was now placed on my knee, and I was cordially invited to eat the circlet of delicate pastry upon it. Vain favour ! coming, like most other favours long deferred and often wished for, too late! I could not eat the tart: and the plumage of the bird, the tints of the flowers, seemed strangely faded: I put both plate and tart away."
Something has come over Jane. For some reason, nothing seems appealing to her. The things that would normally make her up are not making her sadness go away. She seems to find sadness everywhere she goes and with everything she does. The favors Bessie does to cheer her up from her “illness” are not helping at all. (she doesn’t feel like eating the tart, Gilligan’s island doesn’t soothe her, and the song Bessie sings fills her with sadness).
Pg 20- "Poverty looks grim to grown people; still more so to children: they have not much idea of industrious, working, respectable poverty; they think of the word only as connected with ragged clothes, scanty food, fireless grates, rude manners, and debasing vices: poverty for me was synonymous with the degradation. "

Pg 21- "could not see how poor people had the means of being kind; and then to learn to speak like them, to adopt their manners, to be uneducated, to grow up like one of the poor women I saw sometimes nursing their children or washing their clothes at the cottage doors of the village of Gateshead : no, I was not heroic enough to purchase liberty at the price of caste. "

Pg 22- "my father had been a poor clergyman; that my mother had married him against the wishes of her friends, who considered the match beneath her; that my grandfather Reed was so irritated at her disobedience, he cut her off without a shilling; that after my mother and father had been married a year, the latter caught the typhus fever while visiting among the poor of a large manufacturing town where his curacy was situated, and where that disease was then prevalent; that my mother took the infection from him, and both died within a month of each other.
Her mother was rich and disobeyed her family’s orders not to marry the man she loved because he was poor. She went off with him and with that no more wealth. Unfortunately when Jane was very little her dad got typhus and infected his wife. Both died shortly after, making Jane dependant on only destiny.
Pg 22- "if she were a nice, pretty child, one might compassionate her forlornness; but one really cannot care for such a little toad as that."
How sad! How can they say such things! How can they give so much importance to looks and let that affect the way you treat others. Especially not when dealing with a kid. The way they treat Jane, really strikes me because after all, she is just a little girl. This poor little 10 year old faces so much, and it all happens in the miniature society created within the Reed’s household! How can they ever expect her to be a better person if they do not let her be or teach her anything in any way? All they seem to do is make her feel worse by all their criticism, and the fact that she does not have a voice in the household.
Pg 25- "To this crib I always took my doll; human beings must love something, and in the dearth of worthier objects of affection, I contrived to find a pleasure in loving and cherishing a faded graven image, shabby as a miniature scarecrow. It puzzles me now to remember withwhat absurd sincerity I doated on this little toy, half fancying it alive and capable of sensation. I could not sleep unless it was folded in my night-gown; and when it lay there safe and warm, I was comparatively happy, believing it to be happy likewise"
It is pretty sad to think that the only one who will “listen” to you, will not judge you, and will be there by your side anytime you need, is a doll! Every human has something to love, the only thing she has is her doll. It is the only thing to keep her company, and it will not be unjust or cruel. All she can do is love it, and imagine that it loves her back and is happy.
Pg 30- "Psalms are not interesting," I remarked. " That proves you have a wicked heart; and you must pray to God to change it : to give you a new and clean one : to take away your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."
Brockelhurst does not have the right to make such horrible comments to Jane.he is trying to make her feel guilty , for something she has never been taught before. He is judging her and making her feel bad. Just because she does not enjoy psalms does not prove her wicked! Even in this aspect she is not being allowed to voice her opinion.
Pg 31- "I should wish her to be brought up in a manner suiting her prospects," continued my benefactress ; " to be made useful, to be kept humble : as for the vacations, she will, with your permission, spend them always at Lowood."
Awww, Mrs. Read is taking advantage of Jane’s wanting to attend school. She is sending her away so she wont have to deal with her, and she doesn’t even want her back during vacation, she makes Jane look completely bad in the eyes of Mr. brocklehost. She is not even ashamed of admitting the truth, even in Jane’s presence
Pg 34- I am not deceitful : if I were, I should say I loved you ; but I declare I do not love you: I dislike you the worst of anybody in the world except John Reed ; and this book about the liar, you may give to your girl, Georgiana, for it is she who tells lies, and not I."
After the meeting with Mr. Brockelhurst, Jane somehow gains enough courage to make herself heard. She speaks out against Mrs. Reed and speaks what is on her mind. She does not let anything get in her way and Mrs. Reed stands completely dumbfounded. She feels offended, even though she knows everything Jane says is true. She just cannot take it because Jane has been the only one with enough courage to confront her.
Pg 55- (chapter six)
She becomes acquainted with Helen burns. As soon as Jane lays eyes on Helen, something about her intrigues Jane. She becomes very curious, and she even attempts to “befriend someone” for the first time. Their friendship soon blooms successfully and it introduces a new world to Jane. I am not sure what about her, catches Jane’s attention,but it turns out great for both of them and it really helps Jane grow as a person. It definitely inspires her greatly and influences who she is to become in the near future.
Pg 59-60- "I hold another creed ; which no one ever taught me, and which I seldom mention; but in which I delight, and to which I cling : for it extends hope to all : it makes Eternity a rest — a mighty home, not a terror and an abyss. Besides, with this creed, I can so clearly distinguish between the criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely forgive the first while I abhor the last : with this creed revenge never worries my heart, degradation never too deeply disgusts me, injustice never crushes me too low: I live in calm, looking to the end." Helen's head, always drooping, sank a little lower as she finished this sentence. I saw by her look she wished no longer to talk to me, but rather to converse with her own thoughts"
Pg 68-" this is a sad, a melancholy occasion; for it becomes my duty to warn you, that this girl, who might be one of God's own lambs, is a little castaway: not a member of the true flock, but evidently an interloper and an alien. You must be on your guard against her; you must shun her example : if necessary, avoid her company, exclude her from your sports, and shut her out from your converse. Teachers, you must watch her: keep your eyes on her movements, weigh well her words, scrutinise her actions, punish her body to save her soul: if, indeed, such salvation be possible, for (my tongue falters while I tell it) this girl, this child, the native of a Christian land, worse than many a little heathen who says its prayers to Brahma and kneels before Juggernaut — this girl is — a liar! "

Pg 69- This I learned from her benefactress; from the pious and charitable lady who adopted her in her orphan state, reared her as her own daughter, and whose kindness, whose generosity the unhappy girl repaid by an ingratitude so bad, so dreadful, that at last her excellent patroness was obliged to separate her from her own young ones, fearful lest her vicious example should contaminate their purity : she has sent her here to be healed, even as the Jews of old sent their diseased to the troubled pool of Bethesda; and, teachers, superintendent, I beg of you not to allow the waters to stagnate round her."Oh my gosh! Mr. Brocklehurst is so cruel! He seems to be the evil one. How could he teach such isolationist behavior to these poor girls, I cannot believe he just did that to Jane. It does not seem logical that such behavior can be taught to these girls and at such a young age. What kind of morals is he teaching? And what kind of “ladies” is he making them become? He definitely needs some sense knocked into his head, and needs to provide suitable accommodations to those girls.
Pg 71- "No; I know I should think well of myself; but that is not enough: if others don't love me, I would rather die than live — I cannot bear to be solitary and hated, Helen. Look here; to gain some real affection from you, or Miss Temple, or any other whom I truly love, I would willingly submit to have the bone of my arm broken, or to let a bull toss me, or to stand behind a kicking horse, and let it dash its hoof at my chest," ".
Jane wouldn’t care what happened to her as long as she is loved.
Pg 78 - " I would not now have exchanged Lowood with all its privations, for Gateshead and its daily luxuries.
Jane has begun to love Lowood she appreciates much more than she over did Gateshead, and is bewildered by the education she receives and the things she is able to do their.Spring arrives, brings a whole new aspect to Lowood (Gateshead never was mentioned as a happy warm place such as Lowood is now.) It was always described as cold, dark, and gloomy. Lowood is now being described as warm, bright, and somewhat cheerful)

(chapter nine)-

Pg 82-83- And then my mind made its first earnest effort to comprehend what had been infused into it concerning heaven and hell: and for the first time it recoiled, baffled; and for the first time glancing behind, on each side, and before it, it saw all round an unfathomed gulf: it felt the one point where it stood — the present; all the rest was formless cloud and vacant depth: and it shuddered at the thought of tottering, and plunging amid that chaos.
Jane retakes for the first time the true meaning of death.
Pg 88-89- I walked about the chamber most of the time. I imagined myself only to be regretting my loss, and thinking how to repair it; but when my reflections were concluded, and I looked up and found that the afternoon was gone, and evening far advanced, another discovery dawned on me, namely, that in the interval I had undergone a transforming process ; that my mind had put off all it had borrowed of Miss Temple — or rather that she had taken with her the serene atmosphere I had been breathing in her vicinity — and that now I was left in my natural element, and beginning to feel the stirring of old emotions. It did not seem as if a prop were withdrawn, but rather as if a motive were gone : it was not the power to be tranquil which had failed me, but the reason for tranquillity was no more. My world had for some years been in Lowood: my experience had been of its rules and systems ; now I remembered that the real world was wide, and that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and excitements, awaited those who had courage to go forth into its expanse, to seek real knowledge of life amidst its perils.
Jane learns a lot from miss temple. Even from her departure. She is saddened and feels that her motifs are gone, but soon after realizes that there is much more out there in the world and she wants to explore.
Pg 117- "It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquillity: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it. Millions are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and millions are in silent revolt against their lot. Nobody knows how many rebellions besides political rebellions ferment in the masses of life which people earth. Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts as much as their brothers do ; they suffer from too rigid a constraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags. It is thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them, if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their sex."
Jane addresses the limits put on people, especially on women. The expectations they take and the limited actions based on custom or classification
Pg 134- "The subjects had, indeed, risen vividly on my mind. As I saw them with the spiritual eye, before I attempted to embody them, they were striking; but my hand would not second my fancy, and in each case it had wrought out but a pale portrait of the thing I had conceived."
Imagery- describes her paintings. She paints beautifully, but complains that her artwork looks pale compared to what she envisioned and would have liked to have been able to produce.

1st painting-why would she draw a corpse? What is its meaning / significance? The bracelet?

2nd-Peak of hill, grass, and, leaves, woman’s shape/star.

3rd-Pinnacle of iceberg
Pg 146- Dread remorse when you are tempted to err, Miss Eyre: remorse is the poison of life." "
Mr. Rochester declares himself unpure, unlike Jane. That he was her equal at that age and that he envies her purity, he also tells Jane, that remorse is the poison of life.
Pg 155-156- On recognising him, the fang of the snake, jealousy, was instantly broken; because at the same moment my love for Celine sank under an extinguisher. A woman who could nsr for: betray me for such a rival was not worth contending forfor: betray me for such a rival was not worth contending for: she deserved only scorn ; less, however, than I, who had been her dupe. "
Mr. Rochester reveals a secret to Jane. He explains that Adele is the daughter of a Celine Varens, whom he loved and cherished. He always gave her gifts and held her highly. But one day he caught her with another man, whom he already disliked, and he decided she wasn’t worth his love and affection. He later found out that she abandoned her daughter to runaway with some musician in Italy , but felt bad for the poor Adele and took her in. It had been said that she was his daughter, but he never believed so. He just wanted her to have a home and be brought up correctly.
Pg 159- And was Mr. Rochester now ugly in my eyes? No, reader: gratitude, and many associations, all pleasurable and genial, made his face the object I best liked to see; his presence in a room was more cheering than the brightest fire.
Jane is becoming accustomened to having Mr. Rochester around.
Pg 161-
Pg 173- I had indulged for nearly a fortnight past; Reason having come forward and told in her own quiet way, a plain, unvarnished tale, showing how I had rejected the real, and rabidly devoured the ideal; — I pronounced judgment to this rabidly devoured the ideal; — I pronounced judgment to this effect:— That a greater fool than Jane Eyre had never breathed the breath of life: that a more fantastic idiot had never surfeited herself on sweet lies, and swallowed poison as if it were nectar. "

You," I said, " a favourite with Mr. Rochester? You gifted with the power of pleasing him ? You of importance to him in any way? Go! your folly sickens me. And you have derived pleasure from occasional tokens of preference — equivocal tokens, shown by a gentleman of family, and a man of the world, to a dependant and a novice. How dared you? Poor stupid dupe!— Could not even self-interest make you wiser? You repeated to yourself this morning the brief scene of last night ? — Cover your face and be ashamed ! He said something in praise of your eyes, did he ? Blind puppy ! Open their bleared lids and look on your own accursed senselessness ! It does good to no woman to be flattered by her superior, who cannot possibly intend to marry her; and it is madness in all women to let a secret love kindle within them, which, if unreturned and unknown, must devour the life that feeds it; and, if discovered and responded to, must lead, ignis-fatuus-like, into miry wilds whence there is no extrication. "
Jane is beginning to have feelings for Rochester, but feels stupid because of it. She feels she has been fooling herself by considering that he might also feel something for her. She feels she was blind and that she nothing to offer. She rejects herself and cannot believe she thought something was kindling between the two.

Pg 189- Most true it is that " beauty is in the eye of the gazer." My master's colourless, olive face, square, massive brow, broad and jetty eyebrows, deep eyes, strong features, firm, grim mouth, — all energy, decision, will, — were not beautiful, according to rule; but they were more than beautiful to me: they were full of an interest, an influence that quite mastered me, — that took my feelings from my own power and fettered them in his. I had not intended to love him: the reader knows I had wrought hard to extirpate from my soul the germs of love there detected ; and now, at the first renewed view of him, they spontaneously revived, green and strong ! He made me love him without looking at me.
Jane admits that what she feels for Rochester really is love.
Pg 194- " Poor, puny things not fit to stir a step beyond papa's park-gates : nor to go even so far without mama's permission and guardianship! Creatures so absorbed in care about their pretty faces and their white hands, and their small feet; as if a man had anything to do with beauty! As if loveliness were not the special prerogative of woman — her legitimate appanage and heritage ! I grant an ugly woman is a blot on the fair face of creation; but as to the gentlemen, let them be solicitous to possess only strength and valour: let their motto be: — Hunt, shoot, and fight: the rest is not worth a fillip. Such should be my device, were I a man." " Whenever I marry," she continued after a pause which none interrupted, " I am resolved my husband shall not be a rival, but a foil to me. I will suffer no competitor near the throne; I shall exact an undivided homage: his devotions shall not be shared between me and the shape he sees in his mirror.
Ms. Ingram criticizes society and its expectations for women and their “beauty”, and how those differ from men’s.
Pg 202- I saw he was going to marry her, for family, perhaps political reasons; because her rank and connections suited him; I felt he had not given her his love, and that her qualifications were ill adapted to win from him that treasure. This was the point — this was where the nerve was touched and teased— this was where the fever was sustained and fed : she could not charm him. ,
Jane realizes that Ms. Ingram has nothing to offer to Rochester. She has no feelings or original. She is somewhat fake because everything good from her (her talents,etc) all have been taught to her and she has no true values. Jane feels she does not have what it takes to fulfill Rochester.
Pg 257-258- Georgiana, a more vain and absurd animal than you, was certainly never allowed to cumber the earth. You had no right to be born; for you make no use of life. Instead of living for, in, and with yourself, as a reasonable being ought, you seek only to fasten your feebleness on some other person's strength: if no one can be found willing to burdenher or himself with such a fat, weak, puffy, useless thing, you cry out that you are ill-treated, neglected, miserable. Then, too, existence for you must be a scene of continual change and excitement, or else the world is a dungeon: you must be admired, you must be courted, you must be flattered — you must have music, dancing, and society — or you languish, you die away. Have you no sense to devise a system which will make you independent of all efforts, and all wills, but your own? Take one day; share it into sections; to each section apportion its task: leave no stray unemployed quarters of an hour, ten minutes, five minutes, include all; do each piece of business in its turn with method, with rigid regularity. The day will close almost before you are aware it has begun ; and you are indebted to no one for helping you to get rid of one vacant moment: you have had to seek no one's company, conversation, sympathy, forbearance; you have lived, in short, as an 'independent being ought to do. Take this advice: the first and last I shall offer you; then you will not want me or any one else, happen what may. Neglect it — go on as heretofore, craving, whining, and idling — and suffer the results of your idiocy, however bad and insufferable they may be. I tell you this plainly; and listen: 'or though I shall no more repeat what I am now about to say, I shall steadily act on it. After my mother's death, I wash my hands of you : from the day her coffin is carried to the vault in Gateshead Church, you and I will be as separate as if we had never known each other. You need not think that because we chanced to be bom of the same parents, I shall suffer you to fasten me down by even the feeblest claim: I can tell you this — if the whole human race, ourselves excepted, were swept away, and we two stood alone on the earth, I would leave you in the old world, and betake myself to the new."
For the first time, Eliza confronts Georgiana., and tells her what she had been holding in all these years. Everything she kept bottled up inside her, came out and Eliza put her into her place. She told her everything she was and everything she was not. She advises that she should become more independent and not to rely on only being complemented etc. she warns Georgiana that she wants to go her own separate ways and that Geaorgiana has to learn to look out for yourself.
Pg 283- It can never be, sir; it does not sound likely. Human beings never enjoy complete happiness in this world. I was not born for a different destiny to the rest of my species; to imagine such a lot befalling me is a fairy tale — a daydream."
Jane does not feel as if she deserves to be in love and feel as happy as she is at the moment. It seems like a fairytale to her.She feels that humans never quite feel happy,something always gets in the way.She just cannot comprehend how it is possible to feel happiness.
Pg 283- And then you won't know me, sir; and I shall not be your Jane Eyre any longer, but an ape in a harlequin's jacket, — a jay in borrowed plumes. I would as soon see you, Mr. Rochester, tricked out in stage-trappings, as myself clad in a court-lady's robe; and I don't call you handsome, sir, though I love you most dearly: far too dearly to flatter you. Don't flatter me."
Mr. Rochester is now trying to get Jane to be someone who she doesn't want to be. He wants to spoil her with jewels and dresses, but h eforgets that she is not accustomed to a luxurious life, and sh eprobably does not feel comfrtable to a life lik ethat. She would feel uncomfortable with such a sudden change. And Jane feels that luxury is not a part of he, an dit never will be. She is plain Jane and she does not want to change her identity by changing th eway she looks just because she marries a elathy man. She tries to make Edward understand this.